Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
