dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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