It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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