Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
