sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
