It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
