Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
