You work out of a Hotel?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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