I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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