We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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