I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
