hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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