Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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