if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
