I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You took a bar mat shot.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
