things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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