just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
