i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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