I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
