That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
