Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
