dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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