If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
