just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
