No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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