Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
