she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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