I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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