It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I will be naked everywhere
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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