i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
