The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
