whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
