Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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