y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
