They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
you never un-have a 4some
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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