Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
