i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
