Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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