plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
