last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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