Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
