He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
