Buhtt sex?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
