Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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