so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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