Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
