Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
