if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You just made me feel so damn special
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
