Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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