We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
