Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
