I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
