Your tits are I can't wait for
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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