drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
