you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
